3 weeks… another 3 weeks… always about 3 weeks…

It’s been 3 weeks since I first moved up to Seattle. Let’s see, what did I do all these time? A lot of stressing out: first stressing out about finding a place to live, then how to get all the furniture, then about finding the right church to get plugged in, then about a research topic for my graduate study, then about TA spot, then about pleasing my adviser and the people in my research group… Looking back, really, my 3 weeks, although should’ve been kick-back, were filled with worries, anxieties and stress. Why is that? Part of moving to a new city, a new state, where I practically know no one? Yup, it’s all natural. At least this is what I’ve been telling myself.

It’s always at a time when you need guidance and support, you’re more likely to rely on God more, thus closer to Him. I feel this way everytime. Sometimes, I even pray for hardship so that I could learn to lean on Him more. But I guess this time, I didn’t even have to ask for trouble. Troubles are like flies at a dinner, mosquitoes at night—uninvited, annoying, and they just seem to never go away. But sometimes I wonder, do troubles only come from the circumstances, or just myself?

I couldn’t have been more grateful for what I have right now. I can see God’s hand in every step I take here at this new place, this lovely, yet intimidating city. Let’s see if I can name’em all:

First, I found a lovely studio on the 2^nd day of my arrival. Although I thought it’d been too late to find anywhere close to campus for a reasonable price, I just happened to walk pass by a place that had “for rent” sign out. And it just happened to have one last room left, and happened to satisfy all my criteria.

Then, Cheng came up to help me buy furniture, move, and encourage me. One night I said “I really miss you”, two days later he’s here in Seattle standing right in front of my eyes. Even right at the moment that I’m writing this, I can feel the indescribable sweetness at the tip of my tongue, and warmth in my heart—Cheng, you have no idea how much it means to me that you were here for me when I needed you the most.

Then, thanks to Jj, that I could crash at his sister Monica’s place while I look for housing. And also I met Giff through him as well. Giff took me to the small groups of his church, and helped me get grocery… Although right now I still haven’t decided on a church, I already felt so comfortable at his church. And I’m already feeling so much love at this new place.

Next up, as I was all worried’bout research topic (apparently my adviser’s quite hands-off, asking me to explore my research interest instead of assigning me to one), I found out about this research on bio-amplifiers for neural recording applications. I wanted to do something that bridges EE and Bio, and was I glad that I found this one. Just as I was about to tell my adviser my inclination, he suggested me to look into the same research topic, since he has some work for me on that one. Hallelujah! It’s almost too good to be true!

As for TA position, I was at first disappointed because I didn’t get the class I wanted to TA for. That class was a more advanced EE course, which would be pretty challenging to TA for me, who has no experience and new to the school. So I came to realize that it’s probably better for me to TA a more introductory EE course to relieve some of my pressure. And it happened! I got assigned to the very first intro EE course!

As much as I’m anxious about getting along with my adviser and people in my research group, they were all so very nice, like the rest of people here in Seattle. Not only were they helpful, but they were very funny. They created a very comfortable, relaxed, yet not slack-off working atmosphere. I really can’t ask for a better group=)

Then there’s all that love from friends at home. I got to catch up with quite some friends at home that I haven’t been able to talk to much this summer (since I was out of the country for 2 months). And my dear bro sent me an iPod nano for my bday. And to be honest, I was happier and more touched about the thought and the letter he sent me. He used his not-so-great Chinese to write to me… and I really couldn’t hold my tears in when I saw it—it was filled with love and sincerity…

….

So much more that I could say about my 3 weeks…

Today I just went to see “Sound of Music” played outdoors. Although I’ve seen it before, I really got new things out of it this time… maybe now that I’m older, I can appreciate things better? Or maybe I really came to a stage in my life that I need to decide for myself what I want to do with my life… I kept wondering whether what I’m doing now is the best for me, most suitable for me, just like how the convent doesn’t suit Maria. “When God closes a door on you, He always opens another window.” I believe that God had brought me here to Seattle for a reason, and I think I’m slowly seeing why… slowly…

Now it's 3 weeks after I came back from VSET(Volunteer Summer English Teacher) trip..  For those who don't know about it, it's an evangelistic mission trip hosted by ICA(In Christ Alone) fellowship. Things have settled down tremendously. Interestingly,  now I'm living a completely different life style than 3 weeks ago. 

3 weeks ago, I had to talk to people all day long. Sometimes, I did it out of obligation, not of love. In fact, many times I felt that I've reached the limit of my stamina, patience and love. However, even more times, I felt the value of my work there in China. I felt that I was growing as I preached the Gospel to others... 

Although it's kind of outdated, I suddenly feel like posting all my updates throughout the summer... Since we only get to use internet once every week, sometimes every other week, I only had 5 update... If you're on my spam-list, you probably already read them before.. just felt that this could be an encouragement for those who haven't seen it...

I’m sitting on my couch at my LA home right now as I write you my final update on my VSET trip. I got home two days ago. The past two days were ruined by my jetlag. I couldn’t wake up till the afternoon, and kept waking up in the middle of the night. But I’m sure this is just temporary.

      Thinking back at my last 2 weeks of VSET, they have been very fruitful. Remember Joseph(our leader) said that VSET has 2 parts: first part is the first 7 weeks of laboring, second is the last 4 days of debriefing at HK. I didn’t agree with it until I experienced the heavy content of the last 4 days of our program.

       After leaving Lanzhou on 11^th, we met with Edo’s team in Guangzhou, and headed toward HK. The 36-hr train ride to Guangzhou was quite interesting. We attracted many passengers in the cabin to play Uno, chat and even discussed the Gospel together. 3 other teams who were already there, greeted us with warm hugs and kisses. We enjoyed the sweet fellowship of singing praises to God that night. Although we sang almost every day, the corporate worship of 40ish brothers and sisters were just more moving than ever. The next morning, we finally met up with Jeff’s team. It’s so joyful to see everyone all at once. Aside from sensational overload of interesting stories and familiar faces, it was definitely encouraging to hear from everyone—how they labored and rejoiced in their labor.

       The next few days are packed with messages, TAWG(Time Alone With God), EVing, and sharing. The messages really got me thinking about my present walk with G, and His calling of discipleship for me. I also got convicted by Danny’s message on letting go of the “pen”. Often times, we grab on tightly to our own lives, just like how clench tight a pen in our hand. But what G wants is really to let go, and to trust that He will give us back the pen that we cherish, or maybe a better one. I thought about the many areas of my life that I refuse to relinquish control: my career, my academics, my relationship… How stubborn I was hanging onto these things. Why couldn’t I let go? “I believe, please help me with my unbelief”…

       TAWG time was more than fruitful. Looking back at the summer, I had learned so much about G, about myself. I had a feeling that G had something to say to me that he called me to go on VSET. Although I couldn’t hear clearly from God for a while, I was able to hold on to His promise: “So is my word that goes out from my mouth; It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”(Isaiah 55:11). After praying and just being still in my spirit, I started to hear insightful and meaningful things from G. I used to neglect the importance of corporate worship. My aversion to large-group gatherings made me reluctant to participate in fellowship activities because I didn’t think that people can get to know one another personally in a large-group setting. However, VSET changed my perspective on that: corporate worship does not only benefit each and every one of us by creating a loving community, but also is crucial to glorify G. On this trip, I’ve fully experienced the power of teamwork. Every team member on my team has something unique to contribute to the team. For instance, Daniel Yep can play music from different genre on guitar; Daniel Bo is not afraid to speak his mind and always makes sure that things get done quickly; Joel is a morale booster who brings the team endless joy; Faith is the mom who takes care of us all physically and spiritually; Tiff’s the cutest baby of the team who gets made fun of all the time; Mei’s a walking bible who knows the bible inside out; Lorin’s the team leader who gives direction and advice to the entire team; lastly, there’s me, along with several others, helps out with English-Chinese translation throughout the trip. Every night, we would get together and share with one another our days—this has been one of my highlights throughout the trip. By hearing from teammates’ stories, we could share the joy of people coming to Christ or encourage one another when things weren’t going as well. It’s amazing to hear the stories of new believers’ faithfulness. For instance, one new believer offered to type out the  Chinese translation of the “assurance” article; another one offered to go EV with him. Even when my own days weren’t going well, I would get encouraged by these stories and knew that our labor for the L was not in vain. We also had so much fun with one another. In addition to nicknames, we also gave one another teases and affections. “Dog piles” were as common as meals; sadly, I was always on the bottom when the girls ganged up on me. We also encouraged the brothers by doing their laundry; they encouraged us by buying us boba and singing us a song that they wrote. Whenever someone feels uncomfortable, others will be concerned and help him out with chores. I definitely wouldn’t enjoy the trip nearly as much if not the support of my team. Therefore, I got really convicted when I look back at my four college years, how I averted from group activities. Consumed by academics, I failed to get involved in any Christian community, not mentioning serving in a fellowship. I was so encouraged to see all these young people that came to VSET this year. I am happy because they chased after the right thing, and they still had opportunities to serve in the ministry back home. I can not go back in time; however, G definitely used VSET to point to me a new direction as I go on to do my graduate study.

       In addition to the importance of corporate worship that G had revealed to me from VSET, there are also many other things I learned from this trip: such as surrendering myself completely to God and trust in Him to provide everything. I had so much doubt and fear before going on VSET; however, I took a step of faith and followed my calling. Although there were definitely hard times throughout the trip, and there were times I wished that I hadn’t made this decision, overall I still am very thankful for this trip, for it had taught me so much about so many things. Just the pure joy of seeing how God’s Spirit changed the local students was sufficient to make my day. Therefore, I believe that as long as I obey G’s calling, I’ll receive what G had promised to provide. Many times when I didn’t believe that G could use me, G showed me his faithfulness by bringing people to Christ through me. Other times when I felt that I couldn’t stand the physical discomfort, G made it the ailment surprisingly bearable. Because of this trip, I haven’t had time to look for housing or fellowship at UW. However, G is gracious in that He provided a great opportunity for me to stay with a friend(Jerjou)’s sister while I look for housing. And to my surprise, Debbie Short is also her discipler, which means that she could probably help me find a church to get plugged in. I’m still waiting to find a place to live. But I’m willing to surrender it to G, as well as many other areas of my life: my relationship, my study…

       There’re so much more to talk about… only if you experience it yourself, then u’ll then know what I’m talking about.. Thanks again for all your support!

"how much you seek God (pray) for the relationship
shows your seriousness with that relationship. if i'm not praying
consistently for God's guidance in this relationship, then it's not
important enough to me, i.e. it's not of enough importance that it requires
God's involvement -- God's knowledge of what's best for us and His hand of
favor."

Many times in my life, I feel that although I know I had little control of a lot of things. 
It was still so hard for me to let go. I feel that I often go with my own desires, instead of obeying God. 
Our desires should eventually match God's desire for us, but many times I don't feel this way. 

I struggle with my faith, just like every other Christian. 
However, what this friend said really reminded me of where I should root myself. 
Instead of my own wishes, I should be actively listening to what God has to say. 
And one way to know what God has for us is praying. 
But I wonder how many times I'm praying for leading/guidance, 
and how many times I pray just for God's approval of my own desire?

Thanks to another friend's enlightening, I learned a way to pray for God's guidance. 
Instead of asking God what I want, I could simply present the situation to Him. 
And pray for obedience to whatever he has prepared for me.

Fabulous SB views

Isn't he adorable? Man, even I started to like kids now.. well, jst looking at him, how can ur heart not melt?

Me by the beach.. great waves seem to take away all ur worries..